Here in Our Multiverse
as we grow further apart, I can see moments — all too brief — where one decision makes up a lifetime, holding back, defying, waiting, waiting for the right time, the right one who may never come, maybe because he had to die, a casualty of little, petty wars of old, white men, having nothing to do with me, maybe another woman, another man, someone within his grasp, someone convenient, ticks off all the boxes
because we need to eat, because we get lonely,
because he or she is in the way
it’s okay
it’s hard to see me, too
hiding in your pocket,
seeing these spectacular sunsets,
whispering, “I love you,”
just before you flutter those beautiful sun-lashes to sleep
I love you more than I love myself,
which is why I am here, withering in the corner, nursing my aching bones, the winter chill never-ending in the stone-cold, darkened spaces of my heart murmur,
will it ever, ever end? I am too old for you, darling,
my teeth are rotting out, and this weight can’t hold for much longer
but once I was what you wanted,
girlish and proud,
a rotating, pulsating burst of wind and spring,
a blanket for you to rest your head, and think
oh, what dreams we’ll dream
I did what I did. I did the best I could.
I couldn’t wait any longer.
now, I dance with you every few years
in the screen of my mind, where the world disappears,
floating by with starfish and industrial discard
and in your eyes,
I am forever young and proud and beautiful
that’s all
david and bobby, mark and who are you
Originally published at https://carolbankswebercoggie.wordpress.com on January 8, 2021.
